25. That Constant Scattered Feeling
You know that feeling — like your thoughts are fractured, your brain feels chaotic, and there's always a low hum that you wish you could turn off.
When what you want is to feel grounded, peaceful.
The natural instinct is to reach for a planner, a system, a better app.
And they help. A little. But if the scattered feeling keeps coming back even when you're "doing it right," that's not a planning problem.
For our AuDHD brains, the scattered feeling can have a different root — and it requires a different kind of solution.
In This Episode:
The scattered feeling isn't just disorganized thoughts — it's a nervous system that can't settle
Too many open threads is a nervous system load, not just a time management issue
Creating space in your life isn't just about doing less — it's about making room for what actually grounds you
Grounding doesn't live in your thoughts; it lives in your body, your breath, your rhythms
Thread management and grounding practices work together — each one makes the other possible
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Why Systems Keep Failing Us
Our ADHD keeps seeking the next thing. Our autism needs to actually process and settle. That tension means we're often in constant motion — but never present.
When we're scattered, we reach for planners and to-do lists. They help get thoughts out of our heads. But they can't help us land, because we're trying to think our way to groundedness — and groundedness doesn't live in thoughts.
It lives in the body. In breath. In the feeling of feet on the floor.
The Weight of Open Threads
A thread isn't just an active project. It's everything your brain is quietly tracking — the decision you haven't made, the email you'll get to "eventually," the idea you're keeping alive just in case.
AuDHD brains are wired to see possibilities everywhere. We hold threads open because what if we need that option later? So we keep doors open even when we're not walking through them.
Meanwhile, our nervous systems are trying to track all of it. That background hum? That's the threads.
Too Many Threads = Can't Land Anywhere
When attention has too many places to land, it doesn't land anywhere. We bounce, freeze, or spin.
Narrowing your threads isn't just better organization — it's actually reducing your nervous system's tracking load. Like trying to listen to seven conversations at once versus one: suddenly you can actually be present.
This is especially true in seasons that are genuinely packed. When a client was finishing her Masters, seeing paid counseling clients for the first time, and moving — part of the work was getting everything out on paper. But part was also recognizing: this is a tight season, and the goal is to get through it semi-sanely. We asked what needed to shed. What could pause.
What matters THIS season isn't a forever answer. It's an honest look at what this particular season can actually hold.
Creating Space for What's Aligned
Here's something that often gets missed: the threads you release make room for the right opportunities to find you.
A client recently was mapping out her year — which contract work to accept, which projects to pursue. Instead of assessing each opportunity against her direction, we talked about something different: what if she created space for the aligned things to come in?
She leaned into being a little underemployed for the season. The things that are actually ours — they only find their way in if there's room.
What Actually Grounds Us
This is where it gets practical in an unexpected way.
Ritual creates grounding. Not a self-care checklist. Not an isolated practice. A rhythm — something woven through your days.
For some, that's ancestral connection or spiritual practice. For others it's bare feet on earth, somatic movement, or any moment that makes the nervous system say we're here, we're safe. The specific form matters less than what it creates.
Our ancestors had rhythms built into daily life — seasons, fire, hands working, community gathering. We traded ritual for routine, rhythm for scheduling, belonging for networking. And then we wonder why we feel untethered.
Reconnecting to those rhythms — in whatever form fits you — is what actually settles the scattered feeling. Not because you've organized better. Because you've remembered how to be here.
How These Two Things Work Together
Thread management creates the space. Grounding practice fills that space with presence.
They're not separate solutions — they're two parts of the same practice. Fewer threads means your nervous system isn't constantly bracing, which means you can actually feel what's calling to you. And a grounded nervous system gives you the discernment to know which threads are actually yours to hold right now.
Less to hold. More space to land.
THE KEY INSIGHT
The scattered feeling isn't a planning problem. It's a nervous system that's been asked to track too much while living almost entirely in your head.
You can't think your way to groundedness. But you can narrow what's pulling your attention, and you can reconnect to something older than your to-do list.
What threads are you actually holding right now? What does this season need? What grounds you?