12. My Nervous System vs This Room
You walk into a space and immediately feel on edge.
Or you’re in that doctor’s office waiting room, and you just CAN’T be there anymore. Or you’re lounging in your living room and, for some reason, it’s like you can’t truly relax.
When you're AuDHD, spaces aren't backgrounds. They actively drain or restore you.
That "I can't think clearly here" is your nervous system giving accurate data about environmental incompatibility.
In This Episode:
Why AuDHD brains experience environments as constant sensory negotiation, not passive background
How to identify your specific sensory profile (hypersensitivities and sensory needs)
The cozy nook strategy—creating regulated pockets within dysregulating spaces
Immediate-relief accommodations vs long-term space redesign and when to use each
Finding control when everything feels hostile to your nervous system
Connect With Me:
WHEN ENVIRONMENTS ATTACK
Environmental dysregulation isn't one-size-fits-all. What soothes one nervous system can overwhelm another—even between two neurodivergent people.
The Meow Wolf contrast: The crowded Vegas exterior—loud, overwhelming, dysregulating. But inside the exhibit? Dark moody lighting, curved pathways, small nooks, womb-like spaces with pulsing lights. Instant nervous system relief for me. Meanwhile, my neurodivergent partner felt sick and had to leave.
The ADHD diagnosis waiting room: Small space, TV blaring, first time in unfamiliar environment, deep in unrecognized burnout. Complete sensory overload leading to near-shutdown. No earplugs yet. No accommodation tools. Just survival mode.
Years later at the mammogram waiting room: Similar TV situation. But now? Earplugs immediately deployed. Asked front desk to turn volume down. Moved to corner seat with back against wall, away from TV sight line.
The difference wasn't the environment—it was having tools, understanding, and permission to advocate.
THE WAREHOUSE EVOLUTION
Living part-time in a warehouse sounds unconventional. But it's the perfect case study for environmental adaptation when you can't just leave.
The Overwhelm
15-foot-high racking shelves on three sides filled with thousands of items. 50' x 37' open space. CrossFit gym sharing a wall with inadequate soundproofing—bass bleeding through constantly. Waking up to see stacked boxes through the van window.
The cognitive impact: No mental space left for thoughts. Constant maintenance mode. Easy to misplace things. Slow energy drain just from being there.
Solution Phase 1: The Cozy Nook
Wood screen creating visual barrier. Linen curtain on wall behind for soft visual. Small rug, cushy chair, side table, paper lantern lamp. Created a regulation pocket within the dysregulating space.
Problem discovered: Nook positioned directly against shared gym wall. Only functional between classes.
Solution Phase 2: Noise Tools
Started with $30 noise-canceling headphones—better than nothing but inadequate. Invested in $200 pair—life-changing difference. Loop earplugs for some situations, disposable silicone earplugs for others. Learning which tool for which sensory challenge.
Solution Phase 3: Van as Room
Finished van interior with wood walls, kitchen, bed, cushioned bench. Now pull van outside to see trees/buildings instead of warehouse inventory. Use van as actual room—door closes, window coverings up, 30 feet from gym wall creates sound buffer.
The reframe: Van isn't just transportation. It's a mobile regulated environment that travels between locations.
UNDERSTANDING YOUR SENSORY PROFILE
Environmental accommodation starts with awareness. You can't adjust what you haven't identified.
Common Hypersensitivities
Visual: Clutter, too many items in sight line, harsh lighting, reflective "spaceshippy" surfaces
Sound: Bass, high-pitched sounds, background noise, sudden sounds
Smell: Scents, cleaning products, perfumes, food smells
Temperature: Overheating easily, cold sensitivity, humidity
Tactile: Clothing textures, scratchy fabrics, constricting items
Sensory Needs (Seeking More)
Some AuDHDers need increased stimulation: surrounded by belongings (void feels empty), loud music for regulation, bright colors, scented candles, compression (tight clothing, weighted blankets).
The key insight: Accommodation isn't always about reducing stimulation. Sometimes it's about providing the right kind your nervous system needs.
IMMEDIATE SOLUTIONS MENU
When you need quick relief without major changes:
Noise-canceling headphones or silicone earplugs
Breathable natural fabrics (linen, cotton gauze) for temperature regulation
Permission to adjust temperature (AC, heat, fan) without guilt
Declutter visible areas (just what you see from desk/bed, not entire room)
Soft visual surfaces (blankets, curtains, fabric wall hangings)
Electric candles for soft evening lighting
Unscented everything (laundry detergent, toiletries)
Beeswax candles if you want natural scent without additives
LONG-TERM ENVIRONMENTAL DESIGN
Sound Management
Sound Dampening: Rugs, canvas art, felt acoustic panels, condenser blankets on AC units, rubber shock pads under equipment
Soundproofing: Bookshelves against shared walls, seal outlets and gaps, additional drywall layers, separate HVAC systems, door relocation for buffer space
Visual Regulation
Minimalist-but-cozy approach with strategic items. Plant placement for softening. White/light walls for light reflection. Dimmers for evening control. Organized storage reducing executive function load.
The Intergenerational Home Example
Creating shared living while maintaining nervous system boundaries: extra soundproofing wall between units, separate HVAC, moving door from living room to pantry vestibule, individual temperature control.
The investment: These aren't luxuries when they directly impact your ability to function. They're accessibility modifications.
WHEN YOU FEEL STUCK
Even in situations where everything feels out of your control, small things you can control can create meaningful nervous system relief.
Example—spare bedroom in a house with seven family members:
Couldn't control: Noise from household, others' schedules, shared spaces
Could control: Candles for ambiance, baths for reset, comfy bedding for retreat, fabric noise blocker under door, negotiating eating at the dinner table
The reframe: Control isn't all-or-nothing. Identifying even one adjustable element shifts you from helpless to problem-solving mode.
THE KEY INSIGHT
Environments actively affect your nervous system—they're not neutral backgrounds. Things aren't set up to accommodate us. People without these sensitivities genuinely don't understand because they don't experience it.
But with increasing self-understanding and gradual accommodation stacking, you can make things significantly better for yourself.